There has been an eggsplosion in blogsville. This happened at Fabulosity Unwritten estates at 2 o'clock this morning when miss.fab decided to wear her eggs on her head instead of eat them. When questioned about her reason for doing that, she responding by saying "Eating eggs is for the birds, real women wear eggs '' she said rolling her eyes. As it turned out, Miss.fab proved to be too much of a real woman because the eggs, eggsploded on her head. Massive clean up efforts are underway. We have enlisted the help of BP who are renowned for their expertise at cleaning up disasters, before we have a full blown disaster in Blogsville.
In other news, the nominees for category B of the Nigerian Blog Awards have been announced. Campaign efforts are well under way. Bribes and kick backs are being offered, some nominees have even resorted to threats. There was a free for all at the house of assembly the other day and some of the nominees had to be escorted out of the building. Well, more like dragged out. Let's hope we can make it to the end of the Awards without any broken bones or death threats. Nominees with more than 5 nominations better watch their backs. We have employed the services of highly trained body guards for the affordable fee of 5 million naira a day. Contact us for more info on how to take advantage of that special discount price. So far in the course of the awards, there have been accusations of rigging and staging which gives the awards ceremony an authentic Nigerian flavor. What Nigerian election is complete without suspicion of foul play. Good job people, let's keep the green-white-green flying. So blogvillians, remember to pick your favorite nominees starting from July 5th. May your votes go to the highest bidders, you know how we do.
We would like to end this news reports with a special announcement. We got a brand new (well, 1 month old now) baby boy in blogsville, Xavier Elijah Odosa. Proud mama Andrea can't stop gushing about how precious her baby is. He's so perfect even his poop smells like chocolate. Now, if only she can get her panel of unsolicited advicers to shut up, life would be perfect. Let's hope she doesn't strangle one of those well-meaning aproko's very soon. Congrats maama. Blog(s)Ville Gist wishes you the best motherhood has to offer.
That's all for the first edition of Blog(s)Ville Gist spoof reporting. Hope you enjoyed it. Watch this space. You might just make the next one.